Home, Rain and The Weatherman

Today my apartment really felt like home. I love when that feeling comes after a big move. Everything is foreign and you don't know where anything is. New faces, new town, new home. It definitely takes some time to fall in to the rhythm of things. I woke up late this morning to a clean apartment. I opened my fridge, grabbed a Almond Poppy seed muffin from and ate it on my bed while listening to the sparse traffic outside my closed shades. That's when it happened. The feeling of home sunk deep in as I looked across over to my sisters bed I realized that this is where I'm supposed to be. It felt right. It's certainly had its challenges so far, its only been a month and I already feel like so much has changed. But the change is good, the change is fantastic. I don't find myself missing much of anything right now. Life is quite extraordinary.

It's been overcast all day. I've been counting the days til summer for the first time in my life. This winter froze me out. For eight years winter was the highlight of the year and I was barely able to survive it this year, but now that warm summer days are here I find myself missing the cold, cloudy days that gave unnecessary shade to fresh blankets of snow. All day the air has smelled ever so slightly of rain and it's made me want rain more than anything. To be able to dance in the middle of the street, soaking up as much as the clouds will give. I miss those days. That seems to be one of the few exceptions to me not missing anything.

As I sat down at my computer this evening my sister played an old school all time favorite by the girl group B*Witched. The song entitled 'Blame It On the Weatherman' begins with the sound of thunder and pouring rain, followed by an extremely cheesy, pop sounding, young teen. Now this song earns zero points for being deep or having anything that has lasting importance, however the second verse I can relate to.

Maybe it's too late
Maybe it's too late to try again
Maybe I can pray
Maybe I can wait
Maybe I can blame it on the weatherman

And the rain goes on and on again

I've often wanted to say that is the story of my life. The feeling of despair when you know it's too late, for whatever it may be. Too late to change, too late too stay, too late to go. Thoughts of prayer come, but often your just left waiting, wanting to blame someone. Blame your friends, your enemies, yourself, or even the weatherman. That being said I think B*Witched was sadly misled in this belief, along with many other adolescents. The rain may go on but it's never too late, you can always pray, sometimes waiting is necessary, and you can never blame "the weatherman".