Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Happiness in a bottle...

“I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls off a string.”

-anon

You know those days where everything seems to be normal, nothing extraordinary, just your average day... but this average day is filled with very little things to make it one of those extraordinarily happy days, where you fall asleep knowing that your happy because of the little things in life. Today was one of those days, and might I say it was rather marvelous. I slept in, it was amazing. I made the guy I'm love with jealous, which was spectacular, because he does it to me all the time. I had cherry seven up which is my secret love in life. I listened to an awesome upper cd- Dan in Real Life, and might I say that the bonus track the end makes my day in it self. I made $19 in one hour. I caught up with an old friend. It was over cast all day :) I put on my new duvet cover, and its a 300 thread count, and its pretty much amazing. An old friend remembered my real name. I learned something new about my brother. My holds at the library are finally there, that I've been waiting for for a month. My boss let me have an extra hour off. I talked with someone that makes me smile. My supervisor taught me how to officially spell the words: experience, difficult, personnel, definitely, accommodating, and bureaucracy. My parents bought a new car. I watched the jazz game with my dad. I got a free sandwich at work. And I watched NCIS... and I got new music from Jumpsuit Apparatus. Its pretty much been a splendid day. Nothing spectacular, and yet its one of those days that makes life so stupendously great... because its the little things that make life so awesome.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Where do I want to be April 18, 2009?

“Time is not measured by the passing of years but by what one does, what one feels, and what one achieves.”

--Jawaharal Nehru

Finishing finals week of my sophomore year. Accepted into both my majors. Saving money for England. In Logan. Single. Debt free. Realistically, this will be me in one year. It is interesting how we perceive time. Right now one year seems so far away, and yet it feels so close at the same time. I'm 19, a year from now I'll be 20. Life won't seem so different, but how much do we really change in a year? Something that I think would be so awesome but completely impossible, is to talk to yourself a year ago. So at the end of your life, you have you at every age, and just talk to all of them. Would they all seem different to you? To other people? How much do we really change and grow, and how much of it is just us, how we are, indifferent and immovably part of our character? Going back and reading journal entries from years back, I find it amusing. I find myself cringing out of embarrassment for myself. Its a good thing no one else reads my journals, because I was an idiot, and for the most part, I probably still am.

We measure our life by the years we live, the days that go by, the hours spent, and the minutes that pass, but is that how we should measure it? Think, if all perception of time were taken from us, how would we measure life? Maybe the wrinkles on your forehead, possibly the gray hairs on your head, the inches we grow, or how many times we eat. I think, that if we didn't measure time by minutes, I'd want to measure it by laughter. How many times have you laughed? I'm sure I'm over 50,000 laughs old. Years don't tell anyone the kind of life you lived or the experiences you've had. The only thing years represents is the time you've spent breathing, who wants to know that? Today a guy at work asked me how old I was and I told him I was 19 and he laughed and said "I thought you were older than that." In my opinion, years mean very little. I suppose some would argue that years show experience and seniority, but life's experiences for everyone are different and who are we to tell someone they haven't lived as much because they haven't had as many years? We measure time because we know of no other way not to. A minute, an hour, a day, they are all just a figment of time that we've created to show worth, and I think we all spend a lot of "time" that's been completely worthless. So the question is, How old are you?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Am I dreaming?

Today was one of the most bizarre days I've ever experienced. I feel like I stepped into the twilight zone. I worked a double shift at work, which already makes the day smoosh together seamlessly. Lets see if I can unravel for you. I woke around 8:50, rather begrudgingly and got dressed and made breakfast... very typical for me. I had two eggs, like always and ate them on the way, again very normal... but this is where the day starts to get hazy. I arrive at work at approximately 10:10 about 10 minutes late. The hours of 10-12 passed, and for the life of me I can't tell you what happened in that time span. Then I went and had a cinnamon roll, thank goodness for food, its the only time I actually remember my day by. After that two of my co-workers went and got high, which was amusing and strange all at the same time. Then some more time passed. Then at three I went to Paradise with a co-worker, and bought an oriental salad, which was delicious. Then I came back to work. Then I was briefed on a new survey that I was doing a pretest for Energy Solutions. Then the restaurant next door to us had a kitchen fire, and the entire phone bank filled with smoke, at which point we left the building and roamed around the building watching dozens of firemen walk the halls with their massive red axes. Then I sat on a bench with another co-worker at which point we were hit on by some guy who says that his sister is married to Gary Coleman.... he was a little bit off his rocker and he asked me for my number, and me being the idiot I am, gave it to him, but I regretted instantly so when he read it back to me, I switched one of the numbers and was like "no no, is 6792" and ran away. Thankfully my boss was waiting for me, and so I couldn't stay and talk, I've never been so happy to see him call me back to work and wait for me to get up and go in all my life. At this point I worked on this ridiculous survey about global warming and it took 20 minutes a pop. Then I went on break at which point I ate some wheat thins and a Dr. Pepper and read a book, "Lovely Bones" in the lobby, and that book always makes me think funny anyway. Then I went back to work for another 2 hours after which I left work. Then on my way home I get a text from some random number saying "Hey" and instantly I know that creepy guy from the bench figured out I gave him the wrong number and I lie saying I'm a 27 year old male who lives in Ogden at which point he stopped texting me. Then I cam home and here I am and I can honestly say it was one of the strangest days in my memory. It doesn't sound that strange written out, but in my head, it all seems like it was one of those weird dreams you have that don't make sense at all and are completely random. I'm still trying to figure out if today really happened.

Monday, April 14, 2008

When do you feel most loved?

“Everyone has a gripping stranger in their lives, the man in the library who checks out your books, the teller that deposits your check, the co-worker that always smiles but you never talk. A stranger who, if you were to come home and find a message from them on your answering machine saying, "Drop everything. I love you. Come with me now," you'd follow them.”

-anon

So I was asked the question "When do you feel most loved?" by a friend today and it totally took me off guard. We always send these funny little texts to each other that ask the other questions, just random things that come up in our day. I usually try to respond as fast as I can with the first thing that pops in my head, I figure its the most honest that way... but today, I totally had to stop and think. My first answer was "when I say my prayers", but she was looking for a more "living people" response. After thinking about it for a few seconds, I really couldn't think of anything. I mean, I'm not trying to say I never feel loved, because I'm sure I do, I just can't think of when and who makes me feel the most loved. So I thought about it for a little longer and came to this conclusion. No one person makes me feel "most" loved. In fact, the moments and people that probably make me feel loved are with the people I know very little. When someone I don't know very well does something nice or goes out of their way to help me is when I feel most loved. Which is really kind of funny, you think your family and close friends would make you feel most loved, but if you think about it, and maybe its just me, it makes sense. When people who know very little about your character and decide to do something for you based on the mere fact that they like you as a person is when I feel most loved. Strangers that genuinely smile, acquaintances that go out of their way to help you. And maybe that says more about those people that help me, but that's when I feel most loved.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Things I've wanted to be when I grow up

"All my life I used to wonder what I would become when I grewup. Then, about seven years ago, I realized that I was nevergoing to grow up... that growing is an ever ongoing process."

-- M. Scott Peck

A flight attendant, a doctor, a teacher, a taxi driver, a politician, a lawyer, a beautician, a writer, an artist, a photographer, an editor, a mother, a traveler, a singer, an actress, a cook, a business women, a professional athlete, an inventor, Oprah, a vet, a genius, old, a mechanic, a boss, a pilot, rich, a sales person, a counselor, a food critic, a movie critic, a critic, a marine biologist, a climber, an explorer, a director, a maid, a poet, a mk consultant, a sailor, an architect.... and there is so much more that has gone through my head over the years. Some are silly, some are exciting, some boring, some aim to high, others maybe a little too low, but I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what I do. I could be the greatest food critic the world has ever known, and still not be satisfied. So, now, you ask, at the age of nineteen, what do I want to be when I grow up?... happy.

“The way to find out about happiness is to keep your mind on those moments when you feel most happy, when you are really happy — not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy. This requires a little bit of self-analysis. What is it that makes you happy? Stay with it, no matter what people tell you. This is what is called following your bliss.”

--Joseph Campbell

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

weird: of strange or extraordinary character

"Everyone is weird but me and thee, and even sometimes thou art a little odd."


--old saying


Its funny how we perceive people. For example, I have a nine year old little sister and she is quite the odd one. A little awkward, never afraid to say exactly whats on her mind, a little overbearing, and completely carefree. She is such a unique individual. She'll say things that are embarrassing but true. She's not afraid to be nice to kids that are different, she herself being a bit different and sometimes I think of her as an old soul. Now at first glance and first meeting with Lia you'll think her a bit strange too and most likely some of the first adjectives that will come to mind are "immature" and "annoying". Although both are true to some extent, I find her quite intellectual and far more mature than a lot of the girls I go to college with. She is in the third grade and has a very real sense of the world. She understands that popularity means very little in life. Talking to her is interesting and can be socially very educational. She'll never be the girl that puts somebody down to make herself feel better. I can honestly say that she really is kind to everyone and has the most genuine heart I've ever known in a person. She loves to help people and the only thing she asks for in return is to be loved. So referring back to my title weird: of strange or extraordinary character. This is how Webster defines the word weird and I think it absolutely perfect. Lia is one of the weirdest people I know, strange, yes, but also extraordinary, and I only hope that one day I can be every bit as weird.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

How much control do we really have?

“Control your emotion or it will control you”

--Anon.

I've spent the entire day keeping myself cool. I've never had to try so hard to conrol my emotions in my life. I've been angry, iritated, furious in fact, but I'm completely aware of it, so I'm trying to see how much control I really have. The day has pretty much sucked, and I've almost lost my temper several times, but I didn't. I've been able to have complete control over my attitude. I've gotten angry, but I've let it go. I've been bothered iritated, and put down, and still didn't lose control once. Although I must say, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Its extremely dificult to instantly forgive, forget, and move on. I think I even managed to keep the go with the flow attitude.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Bulldozers and love

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

--Anon.

I think this statement is true for a lot of people, most would just be unwilling to admit it. Whether its subconscious or not, everybody does it. Everybody wants to be loved. But we're so scared that nobody will, so we put up these walls to protect ourselves. Then when somebody gets through, it means that much more. No wonder love is so difficult, you practically have to have a bulldozer to get through to anyone.