Holiday in Holladay

It seems as the years go by and I get older Christmas means less and less. Ten years ago I would still be awake, completely unable to sleep out of excitement. Now I'm still awake with back pain and zero excitement. Life unfortunately changes as we grow and we lose some of it's simplest joys. I've spent some time pondering on why this is and I've come to a conclusion. As children the world is a complete mystery, an ocean of possibility. As we age that ocean becomes a lake, that lake becomes a pond, and finally all that is left is a puddle. When your ten years old there is nothing more important or cooler than that new bike Santa brought you. Not because your egocentric, but because at ten years old that bike is going to take you places you've never seen. And when you get that car when you turn sixteen, that car is going to give you a freedom that you've been dreaming of for years. Then, less than five years later, the world doesn't seem so mysterious anymore, and that car doesn't seem to have that same feeling of freedom when you first drove it. We seem to get jaded and its harder and harder to be just happy. So this Christmas, take a step back and think what or who really brings that simple happiness into your life and cherish them.

Forgotten Yesterdays

I seem to be so forgetful these days. Its like I turned 20 and there went half my brain's capacity to remember. I have a hard time remember to call friends or to meet friends or to make credit card payments or to even eat food. I tend to make plans with people and forget about them completely. I fall asleep early (except for this evening) I wake up 9 hours later. I go grocery shopping with my parents. I parent my little sisters, I make them dinner, tuck them in, and usually pick at leas one of them up from school. Now don't take this the wrong way, because I love doing all this stuff and I really love being in there lives, it just makes me feel so old. I really feel middle aged. Its like I'm in my forty's or something. I even drive like an old person! Whats happening. I need to start spending more time with some youthful and outgoing kids. I literally spent the evening doing a 1000 piece puzzle with a friend while we watched It's a Wonderful Life. I'm like a grandma! And yet, I enjoy all of it... well except the forgetting stuff. That's just annoying. If I'm like this now, what am I going to be like at the age of 30? Oh goodness, the next decade of my life should be interesting.