Accept or Decline

I got home late this evening, and by late I mean early in the morning, from Sica's house with the strong urge to check my email. I've checked it more often than I usually do the past few days hoping for an email from a certain person.... coughelysecough, but sadly there was no email from them. However, possibly even more exciting there was an email from EFY titled Accept/Decline. I am happy to announce that I did in fact get offered a position as an EFY counselor for the first week in June at BYU! I readily accepted and am now eagerly awaiting for more information. I'm still in complete awe of the fact that they offered me a position.

 I sat in my interview with eight other girls who, I felt, out shined me in all aspects. Some we're more out going, others we're over my head intellectually and spiritually, not to mention I was the youngest applicant out of the nine. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Not that it was ever a competition or anything, I just didn't think I'd have a chance. Every time I think about it I have to hold back a squeal of excitement... which is followed by a wave of nervousness and nausea. Don't get me wrong, I really am excited, I'm just uneasy about being a counselor for 15 young girls for an activity I've never been to in a place I'm completely unfamiliar with.  I think that I'll be more anxious than any of the girls there, and after going through the training manuel a little bit, I don't think nervous and shy are really an option for the counselor. The feeling of complete inadequacy is starting to seep in too, cracking my already delicately thin shelled ego. Faith and trust are going to have to take me a long way on this one, because the confidence is seriously lacking. 

So where is the excitement coming from you ask? Because, despite all my fears of being the worst counselor ever, it is an experience that few get and that I've grown to want incredibly bad over the past six months. After they asked for my w2 and i9 form, I think I would have been more than a little crushed had they not offered me a position. All apprehensions set aside, I'm really really excited and eager to actually do it.