stop and stare

Today was a good day. It feels good to be home. It makes me feel like not so much time has past away, even though its passing by faster than ever. I spent some time with my two little sisters and I can't believe how grown up they're getting. Moriya is more a teenager than ever with more attitude and agnst than any emo boy I've ever met. I love her to pieces but the girl just needs an attitude adjustment half the time, than again, maybe I was like that too. I suppose it is easy to judge now that I'm not 13 anymore. Lia is acting like such a grown up. I took her to the library today to check out some books. They had books for sale that didn't get checked out often or were just really damaged. It was only like a quarter a book, so I asked her if she wanted one. I had her read the first page of a Nancy Drew book aloud to see if the book would be too difficult for her. Before she even started I took a quick glance over the page and knew there would be no way she could read it, but the book was in her hands and I thought I mine as well let her try. My jaw dropped as she began to read the first paragraph. She didn't stumble at all. She didn't even read slowly to sound out the words. She got stuck on a few, but they were difficult words (I didn't know what a portico was when I was 9 either.) I was amazed. She is still my same baby sister, but she is getting so grown up.

For some reason I felt as though today had an underlying meaning. All day I felt like the outcome of it would have some lasting effect. I still don't understand it. I didn't do anything out of the norm. I went shopping, watched a movie, went shopping again, and watched a movie again. But something felt epic about it, like those parts in movies where everyone who is watching sees the fatal, oblivious flaw that I made. I can see them all through the screen just shaking their heads at me. I could feel it all day. And then, when I left my friends house and ran to my car in the 38 degree weather, I could feel it again. In flip flops, pajama pants, and a hoodie, I had to, just like in the movies, look up at the stars and just stop and stare.