Obsession Confession

Confession Obsession #1 I've been an awful blogger but I've moved up in the ranks of blog stalking. You'd think with all the time I spend on useless things like blog stalking I wouldn't have a life, but I swear I do. I'm taking twelve credits, working thirty hours a week, and I still manage to get out with friends and least once a week usually twice. Who do I blog stalk? Well if you're reading this post, I probably blog stalk you on a regular basis. No worries though, my blog stalking never extends to facebook stalking or real stalking, like I said I do have some sort of a life outside the blogging world.

Confession Obsession #2 I'm completely addicted to reality TV. No not anything like the Real World or the Real Housewives of Atlanta, just your run of the mill Dancing With the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance. I have this theory that I secretly (well now not so secretly) want to be able to dance and I project this fantasy by watching the show. I know what you're thinking... with my reality tv addiction and my blog stalking obsession I can't possibly have a life... but I do,  I just don't sleep.

Confession Obsession #3 I have a sad sad sad addiction to corny, lame, romantic LDS fiction novels. I can't help it. I'm a sucker for them. Sure they're ridicules, impossible, not to mention completely unrealistic, and yet I think I've read at least 7 over the past couple of months and I may or may not have read one of them a few times. I don't know what's wrong with me. Judge freely on this one... I'm expecting it.

I keep thinking, I swear I have a life, but I'm sort of looking a little hopeless. Maybe I don't, that will have to be determined at another point in time.

Lessons that I learned while playing Dr. Mario

So the other day I saw my mom doing her hula-hoop while playing Dr. Mario on the N64 (it has to be seen to be believed... but for now you'll just have to take my word for it) and I decided, hey I have nothing to do, why not play. So I pulled up a chair and grabbed another controller and had her switch it to two player. Now if you know my mother, you will know that playing her at Dr. Mario is like ten times more difficult then playing the computer. Why you ask? Because she plays for an hour everyday while she's hula hooping... (can that be a verb?) Now that I've given you a brief background of the situation I'll tell you some things I learned. You might be surprised.

Lesson #1

Similar to Golf, Dr. Mario has handicaps. One person can be on one level and the other person can be on any other level higher or lower than the first. When setting up the game I chose to be on the same level as my mom. She looked at me and said, "Are you sure you want to go that high?" I nodded and so the game began. Now I'm sure we played at least a dozen rounds maybe more, and I only beat my mother once, which really means that I didn't win at all because you have to win three times to get a star. I decided from that time on I would never play on a lower level than my mom. I knew I could beat her, why not rise to the occasion. Sometimes in life we're offered a "handicap" or an easy out. We can do better. Don't make excuses.

Lesson #2

When playing Dr. Mario on level 10 the viruses are stacked up pretty high and it can be a little intimidating when the pills start to drop. But if you can give all your attention to the pill thats falling and not focus on anything else until the pill is firmly on its intended location, you usually do pretty well. Sometimes we're tempted to let the pill fall on its own once its above its desired location and move on to the next pill, but this error will cost you if you don't see it through. In life problems will come from all sorts of places and all different angles, but if you can focus on just one at a time, they won't seem so daunting.

Lesson #3

Sometimes you just find yourself in the most impossible places. The pills are stacked up to the top of the bottle and the viruses are still rampant. You can't remember how things got so backed up and your almost ready to bomb out. When you decide to focus on one area at a time. Before you know it everything has fixed itself. Not because you were able to focus on every virus, but because some were killed as the result of falling pieces from the other viruses you were busy getting rid of. Similar to lesson 3, there are a lot of problems and tasks we're faced with that seem impossible. Its interesting that as you focus on bettering yourself in one area of your life, other areas of your life our inevitably improved without intention.

Who knew Dr. Mario could be such a good metaphor for life? And who knew someone could actually hula hoop and play Nintendo at the same time? Seriously, that might be a whole other post on a metaphor for life.

When I grew that foot or two

It finally came… I don’t know why I say finally because I received my call ten days after putting in my mission papers, so it’s not like I had to wait a really long time, but it has been a long road. I officially decided a mission was in my future in early December of 2008. I was attending Utah State University at the time and felt rather directionless as far as my life went. I knew that staying at Utah State wasn’t the right thing after spending two years attending school there. So began my journey in exploring other options for future plans and future schools.

In the middle of my third semester at college (Fall 2008) I came across ILP, an international program that places young adults in different parts of the world to teach children English. I received multiple emails about it and talked to a few friends who had been in the program. After doing some extensive research I decided to apply for the program in St. Petersburg, Russia. I was so excited to have some direction and a plan that I called my mother to inform her of my new road map. In a few minutes time I could tell my mother did not like my plan, when I asked her why she explained she just didn’t think it was right. Taking her advice to heart, as I pondered and prayed about my plan, I began to be hesitant as well. So I let go of my dreams with ILP in Russia and looked for a new plan.

Later that semester I was introduced to a study abroad program through a USU study abroad fair. I jumped on it right away. I met with a study abroad representative (Winter 2008) and asked him what locations were easiest to get into, what the cost was, and which international school would best cater to my major. Once again I called my mom later that day to tell her my excitement, this time for applying to the study abroad program for the Netherlands. After spending a half an hour telling her my plan I could hear silence on the other end of the phone. She again told me that she didn’t really feel it was the right thing for me, but that she would support me in my decision. I hung up the phone frustrated with her telling me she “didn’t feel it was right”. However later that night as I knelt in prayer I felt it wasn’t right either and so my search for a plan continued.

I considered staying in Logan, but I almost instantly felt that wasn’t right either. It was then I realized that the possibility of a mission was only a year away. As I pondered that option and prayed about it, I realized a mission was something I really wanted. I’d wanted to serve a mission for a long time, but now was the time where I could make it a reality. I again went to my mother with more apprehension than with any other plan. I was more excited for this plan than any other and I wanted her support. As I told of my mom about my decision to serve a mission I was relieved to hear her words of encouragement.

Finally I had found my map, I just didn’t know quite how to get there. I knew I still had to go to school and I knew I had some debt from living on my own, so I did the only thing I could do to be able to put in my papers by the winter of 09. I moved home, transferred to SLCC and worked at getting an associate’s degree before I left. I planned to spend the summer in Provo with my sister at some part time job, but another dream was laid before me then too. I was able to be an EFY counselor over the summer while living in Provo. And I can honestly say that the training I received then has been invaluable preparation for my mission.

While working as an EFY counselor I came back to my Salt Lake ward to get my mission papers out. The process to actually get them started was almost more difficult than filling them out and getting ready to turn them in. Even still, I moved back to Salt Lake this winter and was able to put my mission papers in last month. I have now received my call to the Washington Tacoma Mission and will report to the Provo MTC on January 13, 2010. I can’t begin to express how excited I am to serve, but even more than that I feel incredible gratitude for the opportunity that I have to serve. There have been countless tender mercies along this year long path that have allowed me to be able, worthy, and ready to serve.

This post will introduce to all my readers (so basically three of you ;) my missionary blog;

sarasmissionaryletters.blogspot.com

My sisters will be blog administrators along with myself and will post my weekly letters home and maybe a picture every once in a while :) I’ll have my mission address on the side of the blog if you want to write me or you can just follow the blog and keep updated on my mission. I’m so excited to serve and hope that I can continue to grow as I prepare to leave.

Just call me Clark Kent, cause I have a super power

I have a super power. Did you know? It's a recent discovery. Its been hiding underneath a lot of pride, but I found it. I've seen it a few times over the years, but not long enough for me to realize what a special super power it really is. In fact I'm embarrassed to admit, I didn't recognize it for some time. It's taken a lot of work and its one of those powers where if you don't use it, you lose it. I lose it a lot ;) I bet if you look for a while, you'll find that you have it too! Some might have to look a little bit longer, (I will bashfully admit, that I often can't find it) but I bet its there.

It even has a taste! Weird huh? But you know the taste too! Sometimes it tastes like acid and it can burn. Occasionally it tastes sour and will leave your mouth dry. But more often than not it will taste bitter. I didn't know super powers could taste so bad! This is a special super power though, no matter how bad it tastes, once you can swallow it, there is the most magnificent after taste. It might be sweet, mine usually tastes fresh, like mountain air after it rains. The thought divine comes to mind... like chocolate, but better.

I know what your thinking! You know where this super power hides, you know what it tastes like, maybe even what it smells like, but what can it DO? Well let me tell you, this is no ordinary super power. We know by definition that its something special. It's not like flying or reading minds. No, its much more unique than that. This super power can change the world. I would even venture to say that if everyone had this one super power perfected we might not know the word anger. It has the power to heal broken hearts, mend lost friendships, save marriages, reform human interaction, rescue lost souls, teach humility, inspire loyalty, and instill love. Why it is the very same power that will redeem you and me.

You know that you have it, you know where to find it, you know what it tastes like, and you know what it can do, but have you guessed what "it" is? I'll give you a hint if your still a little slow. It's something you say, but more importantly something you show.

How do you use it then? The next time you cut someone off, I want you to use it. The next time you yell at someone, use it. The next time you belittle someone, use it. Sure it might taste sour and yes probably a little bitter, but as soon as you say those two words and let it show, it will set you free. The more often you use it the more you'll come to know, that it can't be said and not be shown. When you can say it and be truly contrite, you will understand why it is indeed a super power. Then the next time someone cuts you off and you get angry, you'll want you to use it. The next time some one yells at you, you'll have to say it and the next time someone belittles you, you'll be compelled to express it.

It's official! There IN!

Oh goodness I have so much to say! I'm so excited and happy that I haven't been able to keep a smile off my face for the last two. I'll find myself alone in my car and I'll catch my self grinning. I'll be eating lunch and wont notice the smile that has appeared while throwing down some food. I can be in bed (this is my favorite) waiting for sleep to come when a smile comes with a few escaped giggles! Who knew I giggled!? I can't help it. The best part is its so incredibly natural. I'm not trying to notice it, but it just jumps up on me and I realize how incredibly happy I am.

So why am I so happy? My mission papers officially went in this week. I couldn't stop smiling in my interview with my Stake President. I thought I'd be worried the impressions I might leave or get caught up on his opinions of whether or not I'm ready, but I didn't. I just kept smiling and all I could say was that I'm so excited! I left the interview slightly nervous after the fact. My nerves were made calm later that day when his wife came up to me and said, "He came home so excited. He said, 'She is so ready to go." I don't think any statement in my entire life has brought me more joy that those words. I know I shouldn't need other people to think I'm ready when I know I am, but all the same they are sweet words of comfort that I value.

If I get thinking about it for too long I get a little bit twitchy with anticipation. I'm so incredibly excited. It feels so right! Not even school or work has been able to bring down my spirits. Feel free to write your guesses! I should have a call within three or four weeks and that post will exceed even this post in excitement!

Opening up shop?

So I had the pleasure and joy of having my wisdom teeth (4 to be exact) extracted from my jaw this past week. I was surprised that as the day of my oral surgery grew closer I didn't really get nervous... and I thought I would. I mean your talking to someone who has never had surgery of any type, never been put under, and never had any "serious" injury. The morning came and my mother drove me to the oral surgeon bright and early. I wasn't even nervous waiting in the lobby. Before I knew it they called me back. A nice man in blue scrubs shook my hand and said, "Well are you ready?" I nodded and literally within 60 seconds I was laying down with tubes up my nose and and IV down my arm. These guys don't waste time! Still I couldn't believe how completely calm I was.

Being put under was easily the weirdest experience of my life. I remember the ceiling and then nothing. About 30 minutes later I woke up and could feel and see hands still in my mouth. I might have slightly panicked at this point. The only real fear I had going into the whole thing that I was going to wake up in the middle of the procedure, so when I woke up with two pairs of hands in my mouth, I attempted to yell "I'm awake, I'm awake!" Just too make sure they were aware I was fully conscious. However, it turns out they were just shoving 10 strips of gaws into my mouth, which made it slightly less embarrassing because they of course had no idea what I was yelling at them wide eyed with a mouth full of cotton.

A nurse walked with me to a plush recliner where I sat for ten minutes trying to get a handle on my brain, which at this point seemed a little elusive. My mom came and sat with me, but apparently all I could say was, "That was so weird." The nurse briefly described the medications and what to do for dry socket and helped me up to go to the car, when I immediately fell back down into the chair. She put me in a wheel chair after that. According to my mother I was very ornery, but I claim that she was being patronizing. I mean seriously, you can't tell a drugged person hey don't know what they're talking about! I was drugged for goodness sake! Just nod and smile!

I spent the next two hours sleeping with an alarm set for every 30 minutes to wake me up so I could change out my gaws. And so I could rotate between the plethora of prescription drugs they gave me. I finally got feeling back in my entire face around four 0' clock at which point I ate soup. Basically I was back to normal the next day. I may or may not have eaten Cafe Rio the day after I got my wisdom teeth out. I can't really remember.

Fast forward to three days later (today) and here I am with dry socket in the bottom right hole in my mouth. Luckily, I have enough pain killers for that and more. What a lovely experience it's been.

Yes, I listen to Paul Cardall and play Spider Solitaire on my Friday nights...

But only when my only friend in the Salt Lake valley is out of town and I got my wisdom teeth out the day before. Let's try not to judge me to harshly.