Anxiety

Today I decided that I was actually going to start to catch up on all that procrastinated reading for all my classes and I realized that after procrastinating all of it for a month that there is a TON of it! I spent over two hours on homework this evening and I haven't begun to put a dent into how much I have left. How did I let it get so out of hand? Even now as we speak I putting off writing an English paper that was due 5 days ago. I'm just hoping that I wont have any repercussions for turning it in late... considering I haven't actually been to class in the last week. I spent the last week sitting on my couch trying not to be completely miserable while trying to get over the worst cold of my life. Now I'm wishing I had done some reading on that couch, all though that would have really sucked, but I should have done it anyway. My online computer class is giving me some serious stress. I kind of have no idea what I'm doing. And then there is the whole issue that I'm in debt up to my eye balls and I just spent a week off of work for some crappy terrible illness. I worked my blood pressure up just trying to catch up on some of my work today. This kind of life style is just not healthy. No wonder so many kids drop out of college. It is definitely not for the faint of heart. Well, here goes my attempt at a catch up week.

Just Me and My Music

So as total inspiration from a friends blog, I'm going to put up some of my favorite tunes and let you listen to them. Now this totally isn't going to be as cool as 'friends' blog, because she has a really unique style in music that you can't help but love completely. So here are some of the songs the I <3

I'm a flip-flop wearin', free carin', California lovin' girl

So after seeing all the amazing pictures of my sister in Jerusalem and seeing all her friends amazing pictures, I thought I better represent with some photos :) These are just some pictures of the last 3 months of my life, and looking back, they've kind of rocked. So as jealous as I am of all those people that are off on some big adventure, I'm happy to be on my own little adventure. It may not be exciting and it will not involve great stories or big romances, but none less it is my adventure and anyone is welcome to come along for the ride anytime.

My dad and me coming back from Sanfran :)

Living my dream!

Pretending to live my dream :)

Dad and me at Capitola by the Sea

Dad and me walking the coast line on a very rainy day.

Me and Lysee Boo looking hot and dressin up for Halloween. I was a fairy and Alyse was a raggle taggle gypsie..

A rainy day at Ghiradelli Square with Alyse and Kel

Fishermans warf, Alyse had to have those fish and chips.

Just above Capitola by the sea.

Me and my Bestie :)

I always knew that one day I would have the whole world in my hands.

Me becoming perfect ;) lol

The prettiest sunset I've ever seen PCH 101 in Pacifica, California.

My life ran away with it self...

My life just got incredibly busy. I came back from an amazing vacation and all of a sudden my life just ran away with it self. My sister is currently in Jerusalem taking classes through BYU and she recently posted her hourly schedule of a typical day. Now granted my typical day does not involve cool stuff like going to the old city of Jerusalem or being woken up by the call to prayer, but none the less I will bore you with my boring and yet busy daily life.

6:30am Wake up to the noise of my little sisters annoying alarm clock and then proceeding to put a pillow over my ears.

6:45am Wake up to my annoying alarm clock, which I typically snooze until seven.

7:00am Officially wake up, now late, I rush to get ready in a short twenty five minutes.

7:25am Leave my house and head to classes at SLCC.

8:00am Attend a computer systems class with a professor that does not speak English.

9:00am Attend History 1700 with a very quirky professor and some very very dumb people.

10:00am Attend International Politics, the only class that shows some potential of decency.

11:00am Attend a Personal Ethics course with a professor with such a thick Russian accent that he might as well just be speaking Russian.

12:00pm Spend a sweet 40 minutes eating lunch and catching up on reading for my next class.

1:00pm Attend English 2010 with some interesting characters.

2:20pm Drive back home.

2:45pm Spend a precious forty five minutes shoving down food and packing a lunch for work.

3:30pm Drive to work

4:00pm Spend a monotonous five hours working on telephones taking surveys.

9:00pm Drive home.

9:20pm Arrive home completely tired and crash into bed after a ten hour day.

I suppose I did this back in high school, but now it seems so much longer. I'm not sure how long I will survive.

My love affair with the ocean

Now I know what your thinking... First of all that is a really tacky title for a post, and its way cliche. But I couldn't come up with anything better and I need to save my creative juices for my actual post, because my creative waterfall is running dry as of late.

So I had the marvelous and blessed privilege to come to Santa Cruz for a week right before classes start. I can't believe it worked out so well. I love California from the bottom of my heart. I've been trying to figure out if everyone loves the beach and the ocean like I do, or if maybe I like it more. I've never had anyone try to explain to me how much they love it and I think I've come to the conclusion that I must love it much much more than most. Today I walked about 3 miles up and down the coast line in Santa Cruz and I can't describe to you how much I never wanted to leave. I've never fallen in love with a boy like the way I've fallen in love with the ocean. The last time I left the beach I really thought it would cause me physical pain. Every time I'm there its like I can breath just a little bit deeper. My entire life seems to be washed away and I can sit there and smell the ocean and not have to worry about anything.

So now that I've attempted to convey my love of the ocean I'm going to write my top five favorite things about nature, what I couldn't live without, things that Jesus really must have put a lot of thought and care into...

5. The Trees

4. The Flowers

3. The Rain

2. The Sun

1. The Ocean

Holiday in Holladay

It seems as the years go by and I get older Christmas means less and less. Ten years ago I would still be awake, completely unable to sleep out of excitement. Now I'm still awake with back pain and zero excitement. Life unfortunately changes as we grow and we lose some of it's simplest joys. I've spent some time pondering on why this is and I've come to a conclusion. As children the world is a complete mystery, an ocean of possibility. As we age that ocean becomes a lake, that lake becomes a pond, and finally all that is left is a puddle. When your ten years old there is nothing more important or cooler than that new bike Santa brought you. Not because your egocentric, but because at ten years old that bike is going to take you places you've never seen. And when you get that car when you turn sixteen, that car is going to give you a freedom that you've been dreaming of for years. Then, less than five years later, the world doesn't seem so mysterious anymore, and that car doesn't seem to have that same feeling of freedom when you first drove it. We seem to get jaded and its harder and harder to be just happy. So this Christmas, take a step back and think what or who really brings that simple happiness into your life and cherish them.

Forgotten Yesterdays

I seem to be so forgetful these days. Its like I turned 20 and there went half my brain's capacity to remember. I have a hard time remember to call friends or to meet friends or to make credit card payments or to even eat food. I tend to make plans with people and forget about them completely. I fall asleep early (except for this evening) I wake up 9 hours later. I go grocery shopping with my parents. I parent my little sisters, I make them dinner, tuck them in, and usually pick at leas one of them up from school. Now don't take this the wrong way, because I love doing all this stuff and I really love being in there lives, it just makes me feel so old. I really feel middle aged. Its like I'm in my forty's or something. I even drive like an old person! Whats happening. I need to start spending more time with some youthful and outgoing kids. I literally spent the evening doing a 1000 piece puzzle with a friend while we watched It's a Wonderful Life. I'm like a grandma! And yet, I enjoy all of it... well except the forgetting stuff. That's just annoying. If I'm like this now, what am I going to be like at the age of 30? Oh goodness, the next decade of my life should be interesting.